In the 5 years that I have rolled with the kid (now kids) to the park very few mothers have said hello or acknowledged that I was around.  Sure, they talk to my children or maybe through their children to my children.  There’s a hierarchy at the park and (unfortunately) there is not much place for a guy (or Dad) in that system unless he is 1) along for the ride with the family or 2) on his smartphone looking something up during the weekend play date with the kids.

Whether there by foot, bike or car … I was a ghost.  Today was different, today was triumphant.

This seemed like such an anomaly that I had to tell the story.  It all starts with an average trip to the park with the girls.  The ratio was about 20+ moms, 30+ kids and me.  Hah.  So I’m rolling with Lex and Dell up a 3 story play structure and notice a little dude is shoving kids around, jacking the cool steering wheel thing and causing general mayhem.

I’ll pause here.  Usually at a park, you’re not allowed to tell other people’s children to do anything.  Yeh, you do it when they’re not looking or nicely encourage friendly play between everyone when they are.  But it’s sort of like politics, religion and related issues … don’t talk about parenting with strangers.

The kid starts shoving Della around eventually so I give him a ‘hey little buddy, let’s try sharing’ in my friendliest I’m-the-only-dad-here voice.  Kids does nothing.  So I say it again.  Then over the course of the next 10 minutes I see him doing the same thing over and over again to any kid in his path.  He’s sort of the playground Kaiju.  Guess who’s always about 2 feet from him looking generally uptight and not doing anything?  His mother.  Well, we’re about to leave and I get the great joy of asking him to share once again …. he sort of shares, by bringing his little Godzilla skills over to another group of little kids.  I never went outside the modern community based parenting framework of ‘don’t step on anyone’s toes’.  City folk stuff?

As we walk away Della says ‘Dad, that kid was sort of mean’ and I respond with ‘Yeh, he was sort of a little thug’.  We happened to be walking right by Kaiju’s mother (still 2 feet away) as we talked about this.

I’m putting the kids into the bike trailer and Kaiju’s mom comes right up to me and tells me that ‘she doesn’t appreciate me calling her son a thug’.

A calm  ‘I didn’t call you son a thug, I was having a conversation with my daughter … ‘.

She then yells at me saying ‘he’s not a thug and he wasn’t doing anything wrong’.  She’s shaking and obviously crazy mad at me.  I mention his jaunt through toddler Tokyo … knocking over kids and hijacking all the fun.  ‘Impossible’ she says loudly and starts marching away.

Well, at this point you realize I’m surrounded by 3 or 4 large mother playgroups watching this.  She does too, which probably prompted the 180.  I let her know (loudly) as she walks away that ‘Playgrounds are for everyone and if you’re going to stand 2 feet away while your son roughs other kids up …  I’m going to step in and tell him to share if you’re don’t.  I’ll do that to anyone’s kids at any park and have before.  Next time, watch what you’re kid is doing and take care of it yourself’.  I realize that I’ve never seen any parent at any public anything have a conversation like this.   Ooops.

Behind her I see a group of mothers nodding in my favor as a give a parenting opinion.  2 seconds after this little altercation a woman from the group of moms behind me asks if I ‘like my bike trailer’ and what I thought of it.

You know?  I do like that bike trailer, thanks for asking.  So today, I wasn’t a ghost dad … pretty rad.

Now … your mileage may vary on trying this one out.  What I did is an unspoken big no, don’t do it. Next time I hit that park, that little thug’s poppa might be waiting for me.  Either way … it was well worth it.